The Demon's name is Clarence

Yay.

Which is still true, but, like, it's.

Yeah, that's not untrue.

Yeah, it's not untrue, but it lacks impact when they're lost.

Yeah, save that. Save that for when.

Save it.

But. Hello, and welcome to behind the Locked Doors, a podcast where Scott doesn't have a joke this time and just goes forward. I am Scott Paladin, A. I am extensively working on a horny audio. Horny werewolf audio drama called It Takes a Wolf.

I'm Sam Stark. I am currently doing sound design for the podcast store 236 and sort of. Sort of once in a while, doing some stuff for as in west, which is a spin off of Unspeakable Distance.

Yay. I'm Jack. I am also ostensibly working on Unspeakable, not unspeakable Distance. Hello. Where's my brain? As in west, we did. So Sam and I were just on the phone for the last half an hour in a separate discord window, fresh off a call for ret, like, moments ago. Fresh off of our, like, update with each other and talking through some B plot stuff. So we are actually working on it at this precise moment as we speak.

That's great. Yeah, yeah. Update is that I was going to have all of my rough editing done by now, and I have not done that.

You traveled instead. You, like, literally went out of state.

Yeah. Well, the thing is, I. I kept telling myself, oh, I'm going to work on it on vacation. I will have time. And I did. I would have had time if I could have made myself do it, but, like, I'll have time. I'll have time.

And it's important to take actual breaks.

Yeah, yeah.

Actual breaks.

Yeah. Part of it is I need to get back into. Well, that'll be our topic for the main discussion. How did y' all do?

Okay.

You were literally just talking about it, so I think you guys made yours, Right?

My one goal I made was talk to Sam with my mouth for at least 20 minutes and, like, hammer out a couple of, like, backstory details that we had sort of nebulously discussed prior but didn't have, like, specific stuff nailed down. And now I think I have enough specific to feel comfortable about, like, filling in around the specifics.

So.

So feeling good about that?

Good.

Yeah. We discovered that there's enough. There's enough unreliable narrator shit happening with AZ that the timeline is actually super squishy and we can do whatever we want.

Way squishier even than we thought. Well, because my, like, original hang up was like, listening back through the stuff I recorded for unspeakable distance and going, okay, well, shit. AS has like a timeline in his brain of when things. Things happened and what happened and whatever. And then I was like, now, when did west arrive on the scene? And by on the scene, I mean on this, like, very isolated, like, colony generation colony ship that was supposed to have not made, like, landfall anywhere. And then I was like, well, they were already lying to AS about, like, everything. There's no reason they couldn't also have lied about many other things that he believes to be true, including how long he was in the fallen engine. Like, very possible that it was not two years, it could have been 10 years. And like, how would he have known? You know what I mean? So I think the answer is just AS could functionally be wrong about everything. And that gives us the freedom to do whatever the hell we want in the time.

It makes it extremely interesting too, just because if you are a person who's been paying attention and, like, has listened to the AS story, you're going to be like, oh, my God. When, like, it's just all wrong. Like, yeah, that's. That's cool. That's fine.

Starts being like, oh, I. You know, in his own, like, time and space being like, yeah, this is the time period where such and such was happening. And everybody's going, that's not what as said. And then it's like, that's not what as said because AS doesn't know about Jack. Like, he's out here with fake memories in his brain. He does not know. Yeah, well, and.

And sci fi also gives you the narrative freedom that you could just have, like, wibbly, wobbly, timey, wimey stuff going on. Like, you know, interstellar distances can involve, you know, all kinds of relativistic bond slippage. Yeah. Like, you know, I think we even implied that the stuff in unspeakable distance necessarily wasn't all in the same perfect reality. Like, they might have been slightly altered. Like, there's all kinds of stuff you could do there. So you guys have as much freedom as you're comfortable with, basically to do whatever kind of bullshit you want, which is good.

Yeah. Like, the thing I wanted to make sure was, like, sort of logistically sound was how someone would have gotten on or off of a ship that hadn't made landfall.

Yeah.

And then we were like, well, it probably did. And that just everybody who was like a colonist aboard the vessel who had been born on the ship and was going to, like, live their whole Life there. You know, when you're on a cruise ship and it docks and you cannot tell the difference whether you're at sea or not because the ship is so large, like, there's no windows. There's no, like, you know, movement. There's no way to tell. So, like, they could have just lied and be like, yeah, we were in space this entire time. And everybody's like, yep, checks out. That makes sense.

Yeah.

Like, my. My children are creative and interested in things and, like, normal kids, but, like, for shit they don't care about. Absolutely. They don't notice.

Just massively unobservant. Yeah.

I could absolutely see both of my children, one of which is 9 and 1 of which is 18. I could see both of them being in school or being whatever, and the ship docks and they do not notice. And if they simply don't know, if anybody didn't want the kids to know, they just do it. When the kids are doing stuff. Like, we're going to dock during school hours, or we're going to. We're going to meet up with the ship that's fueling or whatever during school hours, and we're going to put them below decks in their schoolhouses so they won't be able to see out any windows. It would be super easy to not.

Let kids when the ship is so big. It's like, if you see someone you don't recognize, you just assume they're from, like, a different quadrant of the ship that basically another town over, like, size of vessel. So, like, it's. It's all explainable, but I wanted to, like, be on the same page with Sam about how we were explaining it.

That makes sense. Um, okay, cool. Well, then, yeah, for the topic, if y'.

All.

If y'. All. If y' all are open to it, I wanted to discuss a little bit like, that the mental resistance of, like, trying to get going on something when.

You'Re like, oh, my God, please.

Yeah.

Such an amazing, amazing topic for this amazing topic.

Yeah.

Or anytime, really.

Yeah. I have been. I was writing high on productivity mode for a long time there, so eventually it had to break. Right.

You were putting us all to shame for a hot.

Yeah. I could blame Mike for making all the jokes about how productive I was. That was like, you know, it's like speaking the name of an elder demon. And, like, they're going to tell.

He summoned the demon of sloth into your heart.

The demon. Executive dysfunction.

Yes.

Like, not even doing anything other productive or relaxing. You're just staring at a wall going no, you're just. For no reason. Yeah, I should. I feel bad about the thing that I am not doing, but I am also not doing it. So.

Yeah. Am I doing anything else I would enjoy more? No. Also, no.

Yeah.

Am I relaxing also? No.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, some of it is to, like. I know that in the past, at various times, it's been like, you just have to force yourself to take a break where it's like, not only are you. Yeah. Probably what I should have done was leave all of my. My gear and, like, all the editing files and everything. Like, make it physically impossible for me to have tried to work on this over the break, and then I would be officially off the hook. And that can. That kind of break where you're like, okay, I literally cannot work on this thing. Let me continue to think about what I'm gonna do. Can be. Can be good. I'm not sure that's what's. Would have been as helpful this time. I'm one of those people who. I'm a nerd guy or a computer nerd. So, like, I'm not actually ever completely disconnected from my computer at home. I can always remote in here. I can always get in. I have access. I have several backdoors into my own systems. So, like, if the first backdoor breaks, which I'm liable to do while messing around with stuff, then it's nice to have a second. So that may not have been as useful this time. And I'm also not sure that's what's going on on in my head at this moment, because part of it is the nature of the work that I'm doing, which is the rough edit. It's maybe my least. Well, it's my least favorite part of editing. I like sound design so much more, and just the physical task of bouncing back and forth between various files trying to assemble something is. It's a slog.

Yeah. Are you talking about the vocal cut?

Yeah. The rough. Yeah, I always refer to that as rough cut because everything will get tightened up and added, like, fixed up. And, like, I'll do all the little. Like, at this point, it's just get the words in order, pick takes and get the words in order. And like.

And that's before you even do things like adjust timing or pauses or, like.

Exactly. It's literally just get the files in selection. And that involves it. It does one of my least favorite things, which is where I have to bounce back and forth between multiple items. I can't just be working on the. On one audio File, you know, timeline. I have to then go to somewhere else to find like, so and so's take two or whatever.

Yeah.

And then often I'm having to. If I'm having to, like, I. I particularly love working on Synchronous Recordings because you literally, you're like, well, I'm not going to take Person A's take one and person B's take two. Probably I'm just gonna take take two of the script. Right. And so instead I can just go through and find that particular section and it's all synced up and everything is real easy. But when you have a lot of disparate stuff that's been assembled and having to grab, you know, second files and grab, you know, something that was recorded, aaa, B or. Yeah. Aa, bbb, ccc. And then take somebody else who did it where with a partner. And so then it's abc. ABC with gap with different gaps and nothing lines up. And it's just like. That kind of stuff is not to say this is a particularly onerous thing. It's probably just my least favorite part of editing.

Well, it's just time consuming.

It's time consuming and it's less rewarding because you're just assembling something and getting it to. This is still only the first, earliest state. Yeah. So that's not helping. But part of it is also just that I've been going full tilt on this all year, basically.

Yeah. For a calendar year, probably.

Yeah. At least. Yeah. Since the last time we. We took a long break when I moved and then since then.

So valid of us to have done that.

Yeah. Which. Yeah, fair enough. So I'm not. I'm not trying to. I'm not beating myself up about it. But the thing I'm looking at now is I would like to start making progress on it again. And the question is just like, how to get myself to do it. So. And I did not take a break. I'm not going to just like, shut my brain off for the next week. I'm going to have to start. I'm going to start getting back into it. And the only thing I can think of is there is the mental trick of just like, this works with writing sometimes, so probably should work with other other unwanted tasks, which is just open the thing, open it, look at it.

Just open it and look at it.

Do any work at all, do anything. Make even the slightest amount of progress.

Some people are like, yeah, I set a timer for 15 minutes. I work on it for 15 minutes. And if by the end I'M like, I actually didn't accomplish anything, and I hate this. I'm like, okay, well, I tried for 15 minutes. That's enough. But, like, setting even a short timer to be like, let's set aside 15 minutes or 10 minutes or 5 minutes to, like, do something on it, you know, once a day or once every other day or something. It just gives you, like, any amount of external impetus.

Yeah. And what that can also do is help load it all back into your head.

Yes.

It's one of those things.

Opening the document to look at it can let you be like, oh, right, here's what was going on.

Yeah. Like, right now it has been a minute. I don't even know where I left off, really. Right. And that. That has its own kind of friction to it.

Where.

Yes.

You're like. Like, did I get all the way to, you know, the.

Yeah. Where did I end up?

20 or did I get to 22 or whatever. I'm gonna have to find it. I'm gonna have to find those files, all that stuff.

Like, I feel like me and Sam do this, like, every couple of weeks or. Really? Okay. Fuck.

Where were we? Yeah.

Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah. So you're both so busy.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's.

It's. It's just one of those things, like, how can you. Because knowing that that is what's going to happen, like, it's not a matter of you can't prevent. I'm going to say, can't prevent this. You probably can't. You're always going to end up in situations you're, like, having a hard time struggling or whatever. And so it's a matter of, like, figuring out how to recover from something rather than being like, well, I wasn't perfect, so it's not done, so I'm not gonna do it. But, like, more like, okay, so we've faltered. How do we get back on? I think. Yeah. Opening. Just opening anything and looking at it and being like, okay, here's where I'm at, is. Is a. Is a good start. And maybe I know that in the past. Also jumping around can also help, you know, if it's a particular sticking point. I don't know that that's the case in my. In my situation right now.

But that kind of works great in writing, I find. And then I don't know how helpful that is for a more mechanical test, like editing dialogue or cutting dialogue.

Well, it might be. It's one of those things where if you are willing to jump, because I always. My editing style is that I Always go back to front or front to back. I always start at the beginning and just move my way through. But like, knowing how much I dislike doing certain parts of those tasks, maybe just going into the synchronous recordings and finding the spots where I know we've got basically a scene ready to go. And then I can just chunk all of that out and drop it into a timeline ready to go for like episode two, which I haven't really done any work on at all. But that like, then gives a framework. Like, now you have something in that document. It's not a blank space. You know, you can, you can start moving things around.

It was like an easy, quick win for more of lack of a better term.

Yeah, yeah. Quick wins are one of those things where like, um, with all creative endeavor endeavors, building momentum is like, you're not gonna be able to maintain a momentum forever. That's, you know, like, I was doing really well until, you know, now, but building it, like getting your. Getting the wheels to greet, to grease back, grease back up. That doesn't sound right at all. But getting your. Getting your wheels moving again such that.

You can that shit lubricated.

Yeah, well, and like a system in motion is easier to keep in motion than a system that has come to rest. Now. You need to come to rest occasionally. Um, but I'm thinking about if I can get some of those easy wins, maybe that might be another way to do it. So go in and grab those spots where I know. I know I have everything. Cause everybody was on the call. Or it should be a minimal amount of editing or something like that.

Yeah, like, all but one person was on the call. And you know, like, I have one independent recording. I need to drop in. But everybody else was there.

Yeah, it doesn't. I actually, I. It occurs to me, I know part of this hesitation is that I have a part of the script that I still have to write in episode one. Um, and I don't know how. I don't know how long it is, and I don't know what shape it. I like, I literally don't have the shape of it at all. So that is a separate issue that I've been chewing on this whole time. And I don't really have an answer for it yet. And part of me makes me. Excuse me. Part of me is worried that I have to go back in and cut or re edit stuff that not only have I thought was written, but is actually recorded and like currently in the timeline. Um, so that's the pro. The prospect of doing that also is bothering me a little bit. Um, so that's probably playing into this, now that I think about it. Um, sure.

That you're like, oh, I have this, like, even further step back into the process that I need to take to, like, fill in a gap that I didn't realize was there until we started recording.

Yeah.

And, well, I always knew this gap was here. Um.

Oh, okay.

Yeah. Well, like, I just kind of. I knew it was one of those. So the. The full story on that is after we did the table read, which went really well, I went back in and looked at the scripts and was like, okay, I. I needed. I know the shape of what. Not the shape, but I know the sort of what I need to add to episode one. I need a couple of more ridiculous moments, and I need a big, long monologue for the. For the narrator. And I knew kind of what that was going to be about. Be, like, the nature of the city. Right. Because, like, you know, it's an urban setting. Let's talk about cities for a minute. And I wrote a thing that I really like for that section, and I slotted it into a spot where it worked, but it doesn't transition back into the story. And it's not a direct thing, like, right now. It literally is, like, anyway, back to what we were talking about, which is not a good transition. It doesn't work. And I know. And I've known this whole time since I wrote that in August, I've known that that doesn't work. And always just kind of like, I need. I don't know. I've been sort of waiting for that solution to present itself, and I haven't got it yet. And I don't know if that is right now. It's got a. It's a long section about talking about the city. And, like, you know, lots of writers have spent lots of time trying to capsule encapsulate a city in words, and that's very difficult. And there's all these different versions of it, and then it kind of has a blank hole. There's a little bit of a section where it might start talking about, like, vampires and crime families and stuff like that. I kind of have the beginning of that.

Yeah, I feel like that would be sort of useful to the listener in building a picture of the city, because you have, like, some beautiful, lyrical stuff about, like, sort of the characteristics of the city. And then we don't have a super clear picture until later when the, like, Blackwoods are all in the room with each other talking about how the like, sort of social structure of the city works. And I feel like one little extra flavor of that a little bit earlier would set up for that nicely.

Yeah, and. And that's like I said, I've started. There's a little bit of that there ready to go. But I don't know what that section looks like. I don't even know how long it is. You know, like, kind of sometimes, you know, I'm like, oh, this is like five sentences that I have to add. Sometimes you're like, this is a two pager. I have no idea. So, yeah, that's probably also. And I know that. That where. Wherever I stopped, I think I'm past that because we already edited the scene that comes after. I know that. But if part of this may be a hesitancy to keep going full tilt without having that solution, so maybe I should be thinking about that too.

So when you. I have a question, like a technical question. When you are rough cutting dialogue for one episode of something, is the entire episode in one file.

Yeah.

Like, oh, my God. So you really do have to, like, move everything around if you're gonna, like, add more.

And luckily, adding isn't that hard. I mean, literally, there is a. There's a hot cut, a hotkey that I can push that selects everything after the current point on the timeline, and.

I can just go move it out, scoot it back. Okay.

Yeah, so that's. Adding stuff's not the problem. Not in the technical sense. Um, the. The. The problem is. Yeah. Like I said, I. And maybe. And my. Maybe it's not even the fact that, like, it feels weird to go forward with the editing without having the writing done. This one little section of writing done. But it's also. Which way should I be splitting my attention? Like, because if the next. If the. If the thought was the. This writing section is a blocker for the editing, I could just take a week off and just say no, not take away. I could. I could push back doing the editing and just be like, okay, we are switching back into writer mode. Let's fix this section.

Let's write this section. Yeah.

Yeah. And I guess part of it is that I haven't done that call yet where either I'm gonna. Because I shouldn't be splitting my attention between the two of them. That's prob.

That.

That.

That's trying to do two very different tasks with your brain there of like, cutting dialogue that's already been recorded and writing new words that have not been recorded yet.

Yeah. So, okay, then that in that case, one thing I definitely need to do today is decide, am I going to fix this writing this, this written section first, or do I finish doing the rough edit and then come back to that before I do the sound design?

Because I can give yourself more percolating time.

Yeah. Although I had plenty, so. I mean, I think it's more about attention.

Right.

Because I've been. I've been busy with other stuff for a long time and been putting this one off. Um, so. Okay, so that. That crystallizes a little bit. One is, I just need to start doing something at all, and so I.

Need to fix literally anything.

Yeah, literally. Any progress forward is. Is good. Um, as you. As y' all know, like, you know, if it sits in languages for a long time, it makes you. I. I feel significantly worse now than I did when we last. When we last met, because I was. I haven't made any progress. Right. And stop. That I should be. Um. Yeah. So I. I guess in that sense, this. I have to make a decision. Either I. Either I finish out the rough edit without doing this writing thing, this little section, or I stop doing editing entirely and just work on the writing for a minute so that I can then rerecord it, slot it in, and see how it works well.

And, like, it's possible that rewriting that section might be less of a, like, time commitment durationally than finishing your rough cut. I don't know. Like, again, I don't know how far you are into your rough cut of those two episodes, but it's like, you know exactly which little section needs, like, adjusted or expanded or what have you, and that might end up being a more like a more compact task in the end than going into the rest of the edit without having done it. Yeah, not a quick win, but a quicker win it could be.

The other thing is also, as both of y' all know, writing is such a big question mark about how long it's going to take and whether or not it's like, yes, you know, whether what if I don't write anything good, then I'm have to do it again.

Yeah.

So, but that. That's. This is. This is helpful because, like, I've been stewing on this, and pretty much anytime that, like, my wife asks me, it's like, weren't you supposed to be editing? My response has always been like, yes, I know. I feel bad about it. Don't.

Yes, I know, I know, I know.

Yeah, I know you're just asking, but my brain is interpreting it as like, you're late judgment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, but it's like it's not come. Yeah, it's not her. It's all entirely me. But like, yeah, this is, this is.

Absolutely 100% just me. But I would absolutely, hands down without question do the edit first. Okay. Because it is the harder, longer task. I mean, potentially, yeah, quite possibly. It has a lot of parts and moving pieces. And I know personally that when I finish a dialogue cut, even if it's just a part of a dialogue cut, like sometimes I will just like with store 236, I do scene by scene and I actually finish each scene separately and then put them together at the end. I know, I feel so good when I get a scene dialogue cut done. It's like I've finished a chapter in a book. And for me personally, if I were to go in and finish that dialogue, edit that dialogue cut and have that all where I want it to be and ready to go, even if it's not tight, like if it's just there and I know that I don't have to do any more grabbing this actor's take of this scene section, blah, blah, blah. That's done.

Yeah.

Now sit back, relax, do some writing.

Yeah.

And then just fit it in. When you're done writing and you're done, you're done recording. And that's obviously that does not mean it's going to work for you. But I can sit back here and be like, that is the way that I would absolutely do it.

And that's valuable input. It also makes me, it reminds me that often, well, specifically with it takes a wolf, um, being able to hear it also made a huge difference. I, I, I have a tool that turns scripts into very terrible text to speech versions of themselves. But that meant that instead of having to sit in a room reading my own laptop, I could put in headphones and go for a walk and hear it. And that often gives you a really good, this time around it gave me a really good perspective on a lot of stuff where I was able to go, okay, now this needs to be changed. Like that's because it's going to end up being audio anyway. Having it in its native format, very useful. So maybe having the, having the, the dialogue edit done and even if it's not tight but the, the episode exists, I can then go back in and use that as an opportunity, as a, you know, a listener to go and have it shoved into my ears rather than trying to read it, which is, which is a different sort of experience. So that's, that's definitely a tally in that favor. I'll have to, like I said, I'm not gonna decide. I'm not gonna decide that while we're on the call, probably which way I'm gonna go. I'll have to do something one of the two and I think about it. Okay, so this has all been very, very useful and helpful for me. Is there any, are there any aspects of this, like sort of when you're in a slump and you just kind of need to get something done that we, that y' all have been thinking about that I haven't. That we haven't covered yet, Checking back in.

So this is such a good, it's, it's like kismet that we're, that we're talking about this today. I, I think I've talked on this podcast a couple of times that I have a pretty, a pretty good drive to like work and keep doing things. I also do not have. I'm very, very lucky and very privileged to not have like depression or adhd. And I have the garage full of spoons. Like I'm very, very lucky in that regard. The downside to that kind of brain is when you do have like a downer day or you have, or you have that very weird once in a while thing happen where you actually do lose your garage full of spoons. I don't have any coping mechanisms for anyone.

I'm the same way. Oh my God, I'm shaking your hand.

No. No coping mechanisms at all. So when I have had, I've in my life a couple of times had situational depression. And one of them was when I was in rehab in the military because my legs were broken and I couldn't fucking do anything.

Yeah.

And the other one, the other one was when I became a manager at Target at the front end of Target, like doing all the cash registers and shit. And it was, it was in the Christmas season, I was like, this is, this is a soul sucking existence right now.

And so it's twig, hi, twig, twig, making everything better.

Yep. So when I have these sort of random every few years bouts of depression, like episodes, I have no way to deal with them. And this year I've had another sort of slowly ongoing depressive episode. And it started with, I thought it was a medication that was making me tired for months. Months. So I was like, man, this medication sucks. And I've been talking to my therapist about how this is probably not the best medication for me. Da, da da da. But I Didn't have a choice. If I don't want migraines, I have to take this medication. And I was like, you know what? I don't like pain, so I'm gonna deal with.

Yeah, I like being able. Weird with my brain.

Exactly, exactly. So over the course of the holiday season and probably since Halloween, we've sort of started to figure out that it's not really the medication and it's actually, like, depression happening. And it's been getting worse and worse and worse. And then, like, right around Christmas time, it was so bad, I realized that I was, like, doing literally nothing. I couldn't make myself do anything. Anything. And I've never in my life had that problem. I've never had the I can't get out of bed thing, but I have plenty of friends that do. And so I got ahold of my best friend and I was like, I'm having a legitimate can't get out of bed day. And she's like, ah, let me help you.

Here's what you do.

Here's what you do. And so after getting, like, the initial, you need to maybe just I'm sometimes rot in bed type of things out of my system. We. I actually started to, like, watch TikToks and Instagram reels of people with ADHD and, like, what they do to, like, get themselves to do things. And I came across this. This is. You guys are going to laugh at me, but, like, I came across. I came across this person who was like, how to. How to, like, do things with ADHD using Minecraft. Oh, interesting. I'm not laughing.

It's not stupid if it works. It's.

It's so perfect for me. So this. This woman on this Instagram was so helpful, and she was like, so I just get on Minecraft and, like, I need an XP farm, so I make a skelly farm. And then I sit there, you know, because you got to sit there and you got to, like, let the. Let the skeletons build up. And while I let the skeletons build up, I do laundry. And so she, like, does a thing that requires you to, like, to sit a little bit. Like, do an AFK session, if you will.

Yeah.

And then while the AFK session is happening, you do a thing. And so I sort of, like, started rewarding myself with a little bit of Minecraft playtime, because I wasn't even playing Minecraft experience. I was doing literally nothing. So, like, if I could just get myself into the booth, just get my fucking butt in my seat in my booth. That was 20 minutes of Minecraft time and if I could just open up the document like you guys were talking about. Just open the fucking document. That was like quick 10 minutes of playtime. And then the book, the audiobook that I have absolutely not been recording and I should have been. If I could get through a chapter of recording that was like, I could not only play Minecraft, but I can actually switch into creative mode and get myself things for free, you know, So I have been very, very slowly over the last couple weeks getting myself physically in the booth and rewarding myself with like, video games and it's little itty bitty tiny increments. And for like the first time in several months, I was able to record last week and I got like four or five chapters done. Absolutely the worst kind of progress I've ever seen in my entire life. But it was like progress that I actually was able to make.

Yeah, yeah.

Infinitely better than zero, Right.

Infinitely better than.

Any number is better than zero.

Yeah. So what I have taken from this is very, very, very small increments. And reward yourself for every single little thing. Otherwise I can't. I couldn't get myself to do anything.

Right.

And then I think I posted about it, but I cleaned my booth and that was a huge thing. Like, I can sit in here and not feel like absolute garbage because there's just literal layers of cat hair. Oh, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, you know, little, little things. Yeah, little things with little rewards just kind of. They. They sort of. Spiral is the wrong word. Yeah.

Build up.

Yeah, yeah, they build up. And they build up, accumulate. Thank you. And it's made. I've made it to the point where I've actually started exercising again. And like, I think I'm kind of on track to like, get out of this. This weird slump.

Yeah.

But, yeah, that's all I have. I'm sorry, I don't know how to do anything. So I played Minecraft.

No, it's great. It again, it's not stupid if it works well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Even. There's also one of those things where even when you're talking about these kinds of things, even if the other person doesn't have advice that is relevant perfectly to you, just the fact that other people are going through it is also super helpful. And like, it's just be able to talk about it. Stuff's really good.

And like, thank you, Sam, for being like, vulnerable on the pod. Yeah. For, you know, lack of a better way to phrase that, of just being like, hey, this is a difficult thing. I've been going through. Probably not the only person going through it right now.

Yeah.

Anybody who's listening who's like, yeah, I've had those days where you can't get out of bed. What the hell do you do? Sometimes you play Minecraft for 10 minutes.

Sometimes you just. 15 minutes of Minecraft. All you need to get you to the next 15 minutes.

Before we go to our goals, can I tell you guys a quick pretty boy story real quick?

I wish you would. Of course.

We got home from vacation the other day, and so I was going to make myself a batch of my morning breakfast thing, which is chia seed pudding, which is milk and chia seed and yogurt. And I, you know, make a big batch of it, and then I empty out the yogurt container and I put that in the stuff. But, like, an empty yogurt container is never completely empty. There's always, like, the stuff clinging to the sides and the. You could, like, get in there with a spatula, but the juice ain't worth the squeeze on that one.

Right.

So that's dog yogurt, right?

It's dog yogurt.

Every time we have, like, a dirty yogurt container that goes to the dogs to clean. And normally I just, like, hold it there for a second. Pretty boy gets his licks in, and then I set it on the ground. And then twig bullies his way in and takes over the rest of it.

Gets his whole head in there, gets his.

And so I'm like, let. This last time, though, I'm letting pretty boy lick it out. And then you just have one of the, like, dark impulses. What if I did this? And I just, like, push the thing forward and it goes entirely over his nose, right? So he's like. Like a nose bag. And if you've ever put, like, a towel on a dog's head, the thing they do is they, like, lean back, like, immediately. Like, they're just kind of like stretch their neck, but the things attached to their face. So that just keeps going. And what happens is he does this big lean back and his head goes back and he's looking. And then at some point, he stops. And you see that the. Like, from the. From the muscles in his neck, you can tell that his tongue sticks out. And then he just sits there for an incredibly long time. Lick, lick, lick, lick. He's like, I am in the yogurt zone now.

Yeah.

I'm locked in completely motionless.

I cannot move until the yogurt is.

Gone into an unending field of yogurt as he just sits there for really.

Long time with his neck that cranked.

All the way back, like, with his head back. It was so cute.

Amazing.

It was great. And then I love him so bad. I turn my back and then I. And when I look back, he's knocked it off and the other dog's gone after it. And I go to sit down on the couch. And pretty boy, when he is feeling very happy and affectionate, the thing that he wants to do is come over and rub his face on you.

So he comes running over, his yogurt face.

Absolutely covered in yogurt that he couldn't get to.

Oh, my God.

And he wanted very much to rub it on me. I'm very pleased that I managed to get a hold of him before that happened.

But Daphne's always rubbing her chicken slop on me because it collects on her bottom lip where her tongue can't reach. And then she'll come over and nuzzle you and smear it everywhere. And I'm like, this is so disgusting. This smells so bad.

Normally the answer to this is two dogs. Because the other dog goes. And so if there's any food, I' got you. Yeah, I got you, bro.

Don't even worry.

Yeah, but Twig didn't come rescue you. He was busy with the rest of the yogurt container. Oh, there was still yogurt in that container.

Hey, I have to brag to everyone really quick that Twig came and sat on my lap on Saturday when Scott and Ariel came through town and we got in the car to, like, go to a breakfast place. And Twig came, like, bounding up out of the trunk and, like, planted in my lap on the way to the place. And I was like, this is the happiest I've ever been. Like, my dog is 60 pounds and she really wishes she was a lap dog, but she kind of isn't. But twig is like £20 and, like, just fit so perfectly my lap in his cute little Christmas sweater. And I was like, I'm gonna cry. This dog is so cute.

Yeah.

Oh, my gosh, he's.

He is a perfect lap sized dog. If only he would sit down on laps as opposed to just.

Oh, yeah, no, he's a lap stander. Press his ass on you and stand in your lap type of guy. But I love him.

Yeah. My dog is a lap leaner. So she'll, like, sit next to you and, like, lean on you. She's very polite.

Yeah, that's cute.

That's very good. Pretty boy. Also does the slow slide because he's not really allowed on the couches. So what happens is he comes over and he leans against your leg. He does that for a while, and then like, one of his back legs kind of slips up onto the couch and then the other back level kind of slip up. And if you don't. If you don't stop him, eventually he's fully on the couch and fully in your lap. But, like, it is a. It is a glacial process because he doesn't want you to notice.

Don't worry about it. Nothing is happening.

Pretend I'm not here. Oh, my God.

All right. He's also perfect.

Anyway, yeah, thank you all for the lovely discussion. And let's. Let's set some goals. Let me check what when we're going to be meeting again. It's like two weeks from now, so that'll be like after the 20th or something.

I think, oh, my God, when is that?

I always have to look Windows 11.

Updated on my fucking desktop computer. And now I click, oh, you can't.

Screaming thing and get the thing and get the count.

I was, like, on the phone with the fucking doctor's office, and they were like, what day can we move this appointment to? I'm like, I don't fucking know.

Yeah, I.

Calendar.

Yeah. I hate that it's such a small change.

So much, actually.

If you. If you click on the. On the thing and then you hit the up arrow carrot thing, by the time, it'll give you a full thing.

Oh, my God.

But it's not.

I hate it. Yeah. Windows 11 is a virus anyway. The 19th is the 19th.

Okay? So as is tradition, I'll go first. I will wait for my wife to quit crumpling plastic.

Please tell your wife it was such a delight and a pleasure to hang out with her on Saturday. Isn't she cool?

I like her so much. So cool.

And so much cooler than me. Yeah.

So no, you guys are complementarily cool.

Yeah.

Okay, so in two weeks, I will either have written this stupid thing that I need to write, or I will have finished episode one's Rough Edit and be in deposit two. I will decide what, like, the big thing is that by the end of the day, I have to decide if I'm doing one or the other.

You're going to make the call or the other.

In fact, like, literally after we're done here, I'm going to go, like, for a walk with pretty boy. And, like, that's because that's. I have to move in order to think properly. If I'm, like, sitting still.

Legs.

And your brain.

The brain don't work. It's. I'm a. I'm a rodent. I got, like a. I'm, like, powered by, like a treadmill.

Get on that hamster wheel. Okay.

So that's my goal. Two weeks from now, I will have either be written this. Written this thing, or I'll have done a significant amount of rough edits. I think we normally go with Sam next, so that.

I think so. I am going to finish the sound design for episode five of store 236. And by the time that we get back together again, I will be starting the design for episode six.

Cool. Hell, yeah. Which, by the way, sword 236 has slapped so far, like, every episode, hitting like a truck. It's so good.

It's been great. It's been very, very fun.

It's a delight to be a part of. Yeah. And then my goal before two weeks from now is to draft the rest of the way through episode three and get it to Sam to look at with his eyeballs. And if you don't have time to look it with your eyeballs, no worries. I will have at least handed it off of my plate to you. That rough, like, zero draft of it. Now that I. That we had that conversation about our B plot stuff, we wanted to fit it.

Cool. Y.

All right.

That sounds great. Well, we will catch the audience, and I will see y' all in two weeks. Bye.

Okay, bye.