S2E2 - Special Guest: Scoot Clerical

Just give me a second just to find. How.

Howdy. How.

Howdy.

Howdy. Okay. Howdy, and welcome to behind the Locked Doors, occasional podcast about ambition and the hubris of man Name, scoop, clerical. And I'm the writer, showrunner, visionary, dreamer behind the Internet's premier horny werewolf vampire romance audio drama. It takes a village to sexually satisfy a werewolf. Close parenthesis, wolf. I'm also extremely litigious, so if I find out any of you have a story that involves a werewolf going down on the Champlain animated mummy of Queen Victoria, you will be hearing from my lore, which, given I'm from Texas, is just a longhorn steer with a briefcase and a concealed carry license. Joining me are two of the finest chucklefucks around, Jack Frost, who I'm sure will be telling us all about why they're the asshole who made everyone's nipples freeze off in New Orleans, and Sam Stark, who is here to announce their new role in this year's Call of Duty game. They'll be voicing a soldier who gets shot, stabbed, slashed, run over by a truck, landed on by a drone, burnt by the sun, burnt in the kitchen by Hard Pan, and several other misadventures, all based on their own lived experience. We'll also have a guest joining us from the degenerate non state that is Colorado. Please introduce yourself and justify your presence on this here podcast.

Damn. Sorry, I should have muted myself. I didn't know I was gonna laugh this hard. Like, I missed you so bad. Thank you for being here today.

I'm gonna die.

There are, like, tears running down my face right now, dad.

Oh, my God.

Y'all don't. Listeners, you don't have the privilege of being able to see the video footage that I was witnessing just now, but Scott legitimately disappeared from the camera frame for several moments.

Well, my instinct to not over override the beauty of what Mike was doing with my own laughter meant that I had to, like, crouch on the ground.

Doing the anime squat to just, like, get yourself out of range of your microphone.

I know. I knew whatever you were going to do was going to be a thing of beauty, but I was not prepared for the Sistine Chapel to be Fucking.

Yes. Constructed in front of my face.

I've been waiting quite a long time to do that, so we'll work it.

Oh, my God.

Thank you for that gift.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, hello, audience.

Hello.

I don't know how. I don't know how we're going to continue on from.

How the hell are we supposed to follow that? You always do this, Mike. You come in with this energy. We're like, now what the fuck do we do?

I was ready. Now I'm not ready.

Yeah, yeah. New levels of unready. Oh, my God. Okay, so. Yes. Well, welcome back to. I guess I don't even need to do this now because it was already done. Better.

Yeah. Mike did it better than any of us ever could have.

Yeah. We do need to do the intros. So. I am Scott Paladin. I am writing a horny werewolf audio drama called It Takes a Wolf.

I am choking and dying. I am Sam Stark and I am doing a. I'm writing a podcast. I forgot all about it. It's about something.

Two years in space, I believe.

Yes. Thank you. Hi, I'm Jack Frost, apparently. And I'm also working on Azan west nominally.

And hi, I'm Mike, also known as Interiority. And I'm a menace.

Yeah, but we love him. Love him.

Uh, so we're gonna do kind of. We're doing an abbreviated thing today because we're. We're not doing all of the, like, check in because Jack and I have both had quite a couple of months. Um, if you can hear some. The difference in the quality of my audio audience, I'm very sorry. I am in the. The barest echoeyest of apartments of all time, and my dogs have decided that they want to bark at everything out the window because they're not used to being in apartments. So apologies. But yeah, so we're really here just to do sort of a check in, like, not like a progress thing, but just sort of like where we're at and set some goals for the next time we actually meet. So I guess I'll start with that, please. It Takes a Wolf has not been at a complete standstill, but since last we talked, I have started episode six and I think I'm a thousand words in, which is a rate of about a couple hundred words a month. But that's okay.

That's fine. That is okay.

Yeah, it's okay. And yeah, so that's where we're at. I mean, I'm like a little bit into episode six of nine, so I'm. I think last time I said I was going to be like, done with the draft at this point, but so obviously that's not going to happen, so. But that's okay.

You, like, move to a different state. Yeah, I believe between times.

So, yeah, it was a lot. And then if I recall, you guys are pretty much with as in west, pretty much where it was when we left it. Is that mostly true?

Yeah. Okay. So I have not. Not only have I not done my homework, I also have not listened to any of the episodes of this show that were released between, like, the beginning of November and right now because.

Oh, wow.

I'm, like, so out of the loop. I'm so sorry. I had Covid for a month, and then my mom died, like, out of the blue. So I've just had a full plate of things in my life going on. But, yeah, I have not done my specific duties, which were to basically start drafting, as in west, from the beginning, off of Sam's notes.

Right. So you guys are still just basically like, we're. You're gonna. About to start draft one, which is.

All right. Yes. Yes.

All right, cool.

Well, no.

All right. Well, no.

I did my homework.

Oh, okay.

Oh, thank God. Please tell me about your homework.

Last time we got together, it was just me and Mike, and I was talking about how next time we got together, I wanted to have, like, something that somebody could read for the first episode. But I was just gonna do the first half because we were gonna do, like, a double first episode pilot thing.

Right, Right.

So I was working on the first half of the first episode. Cause I always kind of had this vision that you would write the other half of the beginning. Yeah. And I still would like that to happen. So I have. I've drafted the first episode. Half of the first episode, and I've got it mostly to a place where I would like somebody to look at it, but I wanted to kind of. I have. I maybe have, like, 500 words left. I want to, like, do a really good. That's actually way too many words. What am I saying? There's, like, a couple more paragraphs. There's, like, just an ending to it that I need to kind of flesh out to set up a good, you know, explosion and then cut to black kind of thing. Not really, but.

Yeah.

So, like, I could hand it off to somebody to read right now, but it would just sort of stop. So I wanted to maybe fix that and then give it to you guys.

Okay, cool.

Cool.

Yeah. I'm glad you knew things that I don't know. Like, again, I'm, like, completely disconnected from, like, the entire world right now, so. Sorry. So, like. Yeah. Catch me up on anything. I think.

I don't think you need to apologize, dude. I think it's okay.

We just need to. We just need to shove a spike in the back of your head and upload all the information.

Please. I need that. So Bad. The spike in the back of the head would fix me right now.

And then. Mike, do you have a thing you want to keep us up to breast on? We've kind of switched formats midstream.

Yeah, it's kind of got a bit weird. Yeah. I'm continuing to work on my own stuff as well as kind of like, standing ready to provide support for Sam and Jack as needed. Maybe notes saying that my character needs more prominence and more lines, and you're.

Right to say it.

Well, yes. But. Yeah, no, I'm doing my own thing. I have the vomit draft of my first episode pretty much done. I'm gonna hopefully have that in a. Yeah. In a. In a state where I actually gonna show it to at least one person by the end of the weekend. So that'll be nice.

Oh, my God. Very exciting. Congrats.

Yeah, it's cool. Like, it's got to the point where I've. I'm starting to see where all the kind of the themes and stuff will kind of, like, dovetail together, like, later on in the series. And I'm getting really excited about it, which is nice.

That's always fantastic.

Yeah. So.

Yeah.

So, yeah, looking forward to that. And. Yeah. And I'm just kind of working hard on our friend Mel's upcoming original audio drama. I'm going to be going through the scripts and doing some feedback and kind of like meeting up with her and. Yeah. Just hopefully helping to usher it into a point where maybe casting can start at some point.

That's also very exciting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's so awesome that casting is always a really fun part of the process where you're, like, a bunch of characters come into focus in a way that when they're just on the page, it doesn't exist. Exactly. It's not exactly the same when they're just words. When you hear somebody, like, saying it.

And then like, whoa, this is real.

I think I've described before that, like, almost once a season on Breathing Space, sometimes more, there would be somebody that, like, I got halfway through an audition and I had to, like, stop and, like. Like, get up and, like, move around because.

Walk around your house.

Yeah. Like, the amount of energy that I had suddenly gotten from how, like, perfectly somebody had, like, nailed it and, like. Or, like, added something. It's all like, that kind of feeling is like, that's worth it. Like, everything else, all of the extra effort and stress, like, those moments already make it worth it. So that's really cool. Okay. Um. Normally we would have. Normally. But, like, in pre In. In the. In the before times, we would come prep with, like, a topic or something. But, like, I just. We didn't do that this time because I literally, last night, I was like, oh, wait, I guess I could technically record. And then everybody else was like, okay, cool.

I was like, I could technically record.

Yeah.

So let's just.

We're doing a. We're doing the, like, sort of bare minute. This is really us kickstarting back into the process of checking in.

So, yeah, trying to figure out, like, where the hell are all of us on our things?

And also, like, sort of get. Get some goals on the table so that we. Next time we talk, we'll actually have more to talk about.

Yes.

My goal, though, is the broadest of all, which is just any progress whatsoever.

Hell, yeah.

I have. I will be. I will be. I will consider it a win if I have more words. I have. Let me.

Whatever.

Yeah, it's like a thousand words on. On episode six. So if I have 1001 by the time we meet again, then I will be happy. I'm going to continue to ploy away at it. I am excited after I have one chuggy scene that I don't know what I'm doing with it. But after that, I get to start the, like, big fight between the main characters, like, the big slaps thing. So, like, let's go. That's my dessert. That's my. That's, like, the thing I'm, like, working towards. So I'm hoping I'm getting closer to that, but that is my goal. So, Sam, how about you, by the.

Time we come back, which will be next week, because next week I will be interviewing Mel about her new podcast. I want to have that draft ready to go, having sent it off to both Mike and Jack so they can, like, read it and get feedback. And I would like to get an idea of what. Jack, you don't have to, like, physically write it or anything, but I want an idea of what you wanted to do or maybe what you were thinking of doing, so I could maybe start the next episode after that. That's a lot in a week, so if it doesn't happen, it's not a big deal. But really, since I already have this first one done, I wanted to get as much as I could into the next one, if it's possible.

Yeah, totally. I can absolutely read your draft for sure between now and next time and at least get an idea of where we think the second half of that episode or that pilot episode is going, which should enable you to then jump into the next one if you so desire.

Excellent.

Excellent. Cool. Mike, do you have anything you want to say?

Yeah, like, for me, it's just basically getting to a position where I'm a brave little toaster and show my writing to someone else, but also kind of like, you know, retro someone else's work that's going to be great. And then not get the inferiority complex after reading that and go, oh, my characters are just terrible compared to Mel's. What am I doing? Why am I even.

No, you are the world's bravest little toaster. I believe in you.

So if I can get over that, then, yes, I'll be very happy.

Yay.

Awesome. Great. Well, it feels good to be back, and we'll get these things chugging along and making progress, and hopefully February won't be quite as much as January and December were, but we'll see.

I already blew a tire on the highway this month. You guys really would love things to stop happening to me for 2.5 fucking seconds.

So. Nice. Yes. A little bit of freezing space. Wait. Oh, yeah, yeah.

So to speak.

Yeah, so to speak. All right, well, in that case, we will catch. It sounds like we're going to hear from. The audience will be back, and some of us, if not all of us, will be back next week and with a guest. So until then, bye bye.

Bye, bye, bye, bye, everyone.

Behind the Locked Doors is a podcast production of the Library of Cursed Knowledge podcast network. If you would like to know more about our upcoming projects, you can head on over to www.library.horse. or if you'd like to support our podcast, you know, slip a little green our way, make these things happen. You can head over to patreon.com cursed knowledge.

Sa.